LifeGroup Questions: Applying the Teaching to Our Life

  1. Did your parents practice tough love with you? If so, tell the group of a time when they did.
  2. Read Revelation 3:14-22.  How is this a display of Jesus’ ‘tough love’ for the church?  What result is he wanting from this message of confronting love?
  3. Which of the “misunderstandings” of khesed love in point 1 have you/do you tend to drift into?
  4. How does our practice of khesed love differ from God’s? How is it similar?
  5. How do we know when to practice tough love and when not to?
  6. Many people have warped God’s Word on tough love to excuse abusive behavior on their part. Others dismiss God’s words as cruel and angry and fail to discipline at all. How do we find the balance?
  7. Do you have the emotional intelligence to practice tough love?  How do you project your own problems and issues on others when you really need to first deal with them in your own life?  Jesus said you need to “remove the log from your own eye before seeking to remove the speck from your neighbors’…” Have you done that?

All You Need is Love
“Tough Love”
Psalm 107:10-15

God’s khesed love is the pattern for how we are to love others.

1. Be careful not to misunderstand what khesed love looks like.

  • Unfailing Love is not never failing to please.
  • Undeserved Kindness is not never saying anything painful.
  • Tenacious Commitment is not protecting from all consequences.
  • Enduring Faithfulness is not enabling toxic behavior.
  • Generous Mercy is not being a pushover.

2. Be careful to understand that khesed love includes tough love.

  • God will humble us because he loves us.
  • Tough love is love from the heart to change another’s heart
  • Sometimes the most loving thing is the most painful thing.

3. Be careful to understand what tough love looks like.

  • Doing what is best, even when it hurts
  • Speaking the truth in love
  • Allowing painful consequences
  • Refusing to enable toxic behavior
  • Confronting patterns of habitual sin

4. Be careful to understand your motive before you do “tough love.”

  • Ask God to search your heart
  • Ask God to fill your heart